7 Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends in Secondary School

Moving to a new school often means meeting new people, joining new classes, and building new friendships, which can be daunting for any child. As a parent, you naturally want your child to thrive both academically and socially. But how can you support them as they navigate this new social landscape? This article will cover practical tips on how to help your child make friends in secondary school and build healthy relationships that contribute to their overall well-being.

Why Social Adjustments are Important

Secondary school is a time of growth, self-discovery, and new experiences. Making friends is a vital part of this period because friendships offer emotional support, boost self-esteem, and provide a sense of belonging. Positive social interactions can help children feel more comfortable in their new environment, which can positively impact their learning and overall development. On the other hand, struggling to form connections can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and low self-confidence.

Helping your child establish good friendships early on will set the stage for a positive secondary school experience. But how can you encourage your child to step out of their comfort zone and build these meaningful connections?

How Should Your Child Make Good Friends in Secondary School?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to making friends, as each child’s personality and preferences are different. However, here are some key strategies that can help your child make friends in secondary school and form bonds that will last throughout their educational journey:

1. Encourage Participation in Extracurricular Activities

One of the best ways for your child to meet like-minded peers is through extracurricular activities. Whether it’s joining a sports team, drama club, debate society, or a music band, these activities allow your child to explore their interests and passions while connecting with others who share similar hobbies.

Example: If your child loves art, suggest they join the school’s art club. Not only will they develop their skills, but they will also meet other students who are just as passionate about drawing and painting.

2. Teach Them to Be a Good Listener

A big part of forming friendships is being able to listen actively and show genuine interest in others. Teach your child to ask questions, pay attention to what their peers are saying, and respond thoughtfully. This makes others feel valued and more likely to want to engage in conversation.

Example: If a classmate is sharing something about their weekend, encourage your child to ask follow-up questions like, “What was the best part of your weekend?” or “That sounds interesting—can you tell me more?”

3. Promote Kindness and Inclusivity

Acts of kindness go a long way as children make friends in secondary school. Encourage your child to be kind, supportive, and inclusive toward others. This can be as simple as offering help with a class project, sharing a snack, or inviting someone to sit with them during lunch.

Example: If your child notices a student sitting alone, suggest they invite them to join their group. Even small gestures can be the start of a meaningful friendship.

4. Role-Play Common Social Scenarios

Many children, especially those who are shy or introverted, might struggle with starting conversations or responding, as they try to make friends in secondary school. To build their confidence, you can role-play common social situations at home. Practice how to introduce themselves, how to join a group conversation, or what to say when someone asks to play a game.

Example: Act out a scenario where your child wants to join a group of students playing a game at recess. Guide them through what to say and how to approach the group in a respectful and friendly manner.

5. Discuss the Value of Quality Over Quantity

It’s important for your child to understand that it’s not about how many friends they have, but about the quality of those friendships. Help them recognize the traits of a good friend—someone who is kind, trustworthy, and supportive. Encourage them to build deeper connections with a few people rather than trying to be friends with everyone.

Example: If your child expresses concern about not having “enough” friends, reassure them that having one or two true friends is far more valuable than having several acquaintances.

6. Help Them Develop Confidence in Themselves

Children who are confident in themselves tend to attract others. Work on building your child’s self-esteem by highlighting their strengths and encouraging them to pursue activities they are good at. Confident children are more likely to approach others and handle social situations positively, which can help them make friends in secondary school.

Example: If your child excels in a particular subject or sport, celebrate their achievements and encourage them to join a related club or team. This will not only boost their confidence but also increase their chances of making friends who share similar interests.

7. Encourage Open Communication About Friendships

Make sure your child feels comfortable talking to you about their friendships—both the positive and the challenging aspects. Encourage them to share their feelings and experiences so that you can offer guidance when needed. If they’re having trouble making friends, talk through possible strategies and help them brainstorm solutions.

Example: Instead of asking, “Did you make any new friends today?” try, “How did it go in the canteen? Who did you sit with?” This open-ended question invites your child to share more details about their day.

Why Making Friends in Secondary School is Crucial for Development

Making friends in secondary school is not just about having a social circle—it’s about building social and emotional skills that are crucial for your child’s overall development. Friendships teach children how to communicate, resolve conflicts, empathize with others, and establish a sense of identity. These skills will benefit them throughout their lives, both personally and professionally.

By supporting your child as they make friends in secondary school, you are not only helping them build positive social connections but also equipping them with the tools to navigate complex social dynamics in the future.

Gold Star Education: Supporting Social and Academic Development

Helping your child make friends in secondary school is just as important as supporting their academic growth. At Gold Star Education, we believe in a holistic approach to learning that nurtures both the academic and social development of each student. As the best Cambridge and IB learning center in Jakarta, we offer personalized tutoring programs that help students succeed academically while building the confidence and social skills needed to thrive in a new environment.

Click here to learn more about how Gold Star Education can support your child’s educational journey and help them build strong foundations for both social and academic success!
Don’t forget to follow @goldstareducation on Instagram for more helpful tips, program updates, and insights into supporting your child’s learning and development!